Here in the midwest, we have been experiencing a colder-than-average winter—some days setting new records for cold. February’s bleak and dreary weather has little to offer with the exception of two things—the Super Bowl (and the parties that come with it), and Valentine’s Day. And since connecting marriage and the Super Bowl would be a stretch, even for me, let’s talk about Valentine’s Day, and more specifically what it’s supposed to represent—love.

The thought of Valentine’s day conjures different thoughts and memories depending on what your experience has been with the enduring holiday. Excitement and anticipation are the prevalent emotions for some who look upon the holiday as a chance to really show their spouse or partner how much they love them. Others may dread the holiday fearing it will only create another opportunity for their spouse or partner to express disappointment in their inadequate expression of love.

Whatever your view of Valentine’s day may be, it’s important to realize that it is only ONE day.

As followers of Christ, we have been given a standard—a set of instructions—to follow regarding love. The kind of unconditional love that Christ has for us is displayed throughout the scriptures, but perhaps the most concentrated—and widely-known—portion of scripture that speaks about love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. Here we are given a standard to measure our love for others. Not the Hollywood version of love that is based primarily on self-interest, but the kind of love that would surrender your life for the good of someone else. Jesus was our model, and he left us some notes in 1 Corinthians 13.

Let’s say you knew someone who was prophetic—I mean someone who could read your mail. Not only that but they could decipher any mysteries and explain the answers to any questions you had. You would be pretty impressed with someone like that wouldn’t you? What about someone who had the faith to heal people all the time and perform unexplainable miracles? You would certainly take notice of such a person. What if you were confronted by a group of thugs who were threatening your life and someone stepped in and took a bullet for you and gave up their life so you could escape death. That is an incredibly sacrificial act isn’t it? But what if these people did these things without demonstrating the kind of love that Jesus showed us? Paul says that they are nothing. They have gained nothing. Whoa! Do we really believe that? Do we really believe that the greatest thing is love?

Paul sets a very high standard in 1 Corinthians. It’s the type of unconditional love that Jesus has for us. Our love for our spouse needs to be active and intentional for more than 1 day of the year. Here are some questions inspired from 1 Corinthians 13 that can help us measure our love for our spouse:

Do I treat my spouse with kindness?

Do I envy my spouse and what they can do?

Am I boastful around my spouse, trying to impress her with my talents, knowledge, or giftings?

Do I think I am better/more spiritual than my spouse?

Am I rude and condescending to my spouse?

Do I use manipulation or deceit to get my way, and then get irritable or resentful if I don’t get my way?

Do I keep track of the wrongs committed by my spouse, or do I extend grace and forgiveness?

Am I secretly happy when things don’t go my spouse’s way, or do I rejoice when they are blessed and find favor with God?

Do I patiently endure the rough times in my relationship?

Do I trust my spouse and choose to think the best about them?

Do I speak well of my spouse to others when they are not around?

Am I hopeful that my relationship with my spouse will continue to grow and get better?

Does loving my spouse in this way feel like a prison sentence or a pleasure and a privilege?

God set the bar high when he gave his own son to die on our behalf. Jesus modeled that unconditional love when he lived on the earth. Then he willingly gave up his life so that we could have peace with Him and the Father and enter into a covenant love relationship that will last for eternity. He continues to love us unconditionally today. Our marriages are supposed to mirror that love relationship and be a witness to the world of how much God loves us.

Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to express your love and appreciation to your spouse. It’s always good to do that. But let’s also be intentional to demonstrate that unconditional love to our spouses for the other 364 days of the year. Remember, right now, we have Faith, Hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love.