This month we begin to look at Commitment 2: We will make growth and change our daily agenda. Marriage really is just a long-term exercise in gardening. If you’ve done any gardening you know there simply aren’t any shortcuts. Gardens begin with hard work. Clearing and tilling the land isn’t fun, but it’s essential. Digging holes for the seeds isn’t [...]
This month we continue to look at Commitment 1: We will give ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness. Last month we talked about confession. This month we will focus on forgiveness. There is perhaps no other ingredient as essential to a healthy marriage than forgiveness. Yet forgiveness is not always attractive. Forgiveness is difficult and costly. It [...]
As marriage mentors, Sharon and I have witnessed couples that had some pretty toxic patterns of communication. Their discussions were dominated by insults, accusations, put-downs, sarcasm, and contempt for each other. In fact, we would have to encourage them to find good things to say to each other. While that may be an extreme example, most of us—including Sharon and [...]
By Eva Marie Everson With one question I opened Pandora's Box. "What, if anything," I asked my husband, "could I change about me to make you happier?" It wasn't that we were unhappy or that I perceived he was unhappy. But after nearly 25 years together, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that while we may adjust to [...]
Recently, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences held its annual awards ceremony, The Academy Awards, to honor achievements in the movie industry. Invariably, the performances that are most respected and awarded are dramatic roles—the more dramatic, the better. This year was no exception. While drama may be rewarded in the movie industry, it doesn't yield the same results [...]
Marriages only thrive as each spouse accepts responsibility for the impact of their own disappointments, fears and priorities on the relationship. by Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. Jim and Irene sat at opposite ends of my couch, as far apart as possible. The tension between them so charged the room that I knew we were in for a rough ride [...]
This month's post is part two of a three part series discussing how to cope with typical problems. [divider] Last month we looked at the typical problems of Stress and In-Laws. Maybe these aren't problems for you. Maybe you were saying to yourself, "I don't really have any issues with these things". If that was true for you, then maybe [...]
How important do you think it is to allow yourself to be influenced by your spouse? Men, is being a strong spiritual leader to your family mean that you have all the answers and that you don't need any help from your wife? Women, are you receptive to your husbands suggestions, or do you think he is as inept as [...]
Back in September we looked at how fueling your fondness and admiration for each other was one of the most cricial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. This month, we will examine Dr. Gottman's 3rd Principle for making your marriage work. If you view Hollywood's formula for romance as the standard and have consistently fallen far short, I have [...]
Just in case anyone noticed, we skipped our August newsletter last month. It's been a little crazy in our house lately. We had one daughter get married and another have her first baby—which makes us first-time grandparents! With all the craziness that goes with those events, we decided to take a month off and relax. Now that we're rested and [...]
